I think both you and I are still waiting for a good week to happen, sorry this week wasn't it. Want to hear why? What delightful, cheery Sunday night reading hey? Ha!
My anxiety (relating to external factors) is making me physically so poorly, and being physically poorly makes me sad, if I am sad I don't wan't to push myself, and if I don't push myself I feel my anxiety will get worse...which makes me anxious. ISN'T THAT A FUN CIRCLE OF MENTAL HEALTH JOY.
Monday to Wednesday, I legit can't tell you what happened, I looked back through my camera roll and there were a few house pics which were put up on to instagram, but apart from that...not a lot. Quite unlike me I spent a lot of this week crying. I'm not really a crier but everything and anything was making me emotional. I didn't leave the house in those few days. I spent a lot of time in the bath, bed and sofa. Monday my Thornback and Peel towel arrived. Probably the only highlight. I was meant to make gluten free apple pie but ya know...I was all meh.
I don't know what I would do if I didn't have this guy, he has been my constant companion for nearly 6 years, he has snuggled by my side all week. Then I cried at the thought of him probably being half way through his life...even writing that I tear up.
I did my best to be a decent adult, I washed, did chores, did work (!), walked the dog etc etc but it was all done with a foggy head and sad heart. On Wednesday I launched my newest venture The Northern Calligraphy Co. I will be working with calligraphers to host workshops in the north of England this coming Autumn/Winter. So if you want to learn to address pretty envelopes for weddings or christmas cards, write beautifully written swear words, or just pick up a new skill then these will be for you. I plan on offering weekend afternoon and weekday evenings. Gin and food. Dogs welcome. Please sign up!!
This was a welcome distraction and as it was date night I made the effort and suggested a little early evening dog walk to Michael. It genuinely made me feel better so on Thursday I felt a little less foggy and a little lighter in heart.
I waited in all day on Thursday (not that I was going anywhere but I wanted to bathe/nap/be naked) for a bloody scarf to arrive from Zara because I had paid for next day delivery. It didn't arrive. I felt better after ranting at them on twitter. They gave me my delivery money back and said it would arrive on Friday.
Thursday night, I had a lovely long bath and listened to podcasts and I finally slept well.
It did arrive on Friday. I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR.
By Friday I was physically feeling a bit better, I got back on top of my work (ish) and spent the day replying to emails, blog admin and writing posts. I heard from my mum which made me feel a bit better. I was determined to have a good weekend.
Saturday morning wake up call at 9am (no thank you it is the weekend Mr Miller) because we were off to view a house. The house was awful, and what was worse was the actual viewing. The estate agent was late (how so early in the day god knows) she called after we were inside the house with the very awkward seller. He kindly showed us around until the slacker showed up. On leaving, we asked to see the card, seller and estate agent said it was open so we walked round, expecting to see the estate agent to ask our usual questions. She was no where to be seen. We hung around and then just left. It was bizarre.
From the house viewing we went to the farmers market. My tummy was a little dodgy and I wasn't really feeling the thought of food, but after being there for 10 mins, listening to the awful jazz band and petting all the dogs I started to relax a bit. Miller had a freshly made paratha, I picked up gluten free pie and sausage roll, along with some meat, fish and veg.
We got home and I watched American Vandal on the sofa under snuggly blanket. I was scrolling through some of the farmers market pictures on insta and saw an account called Oakwood Vintage comment, after looking it so happened their new shop was opening that day and it looked like my idea of wonderful. Mr Miller most definitely wouldn't want to come so I text a friend. Map in hand we walked up and found it nestled in a little cobbled courtyard near the park.
I fell in love with so many items but worried about buying stuff and then moving house. I picked up a few pieces though!
My friend fell in love with a pretty edwardian chest of drawers, the main problems were that we forgot to take cash with us and had no mode of transport. We walked to get cash out, walked home then, dear reader, I got in her car! My first time in a car with anyone else other then Michael or my sister for years. We drove back up and picked her new chest of drawers up, as well as the stool, bottle and stoneware I bought.
We then had the joy of carrying it upstairs, but it found its new home in her hallway. Good work deserves gin so we had a few then I went home, ate dinner had some palma violets (oh yesss) and then we watched Passengers.
I popped my new treasures in their home and then we settled in for the evening!
I am writing this up earlier than usual. We have had a very relaxed Sunday so far and I am looking forward to a bath and Victoria later. I watched some good TV this week, including Liar, Dr Foster and American Vandal. If you are in to True Crime I watched Storyville (iplayer) Death on the Staircase and it was reallllly good.
So this week, I have a hospital appointment on Thursday with the eye clinic to hopefully get to the bottom of my blurred/dry eyes. After that the plan is to travel down south. Yup. Even writing that I get anxiety pangs and waves of nausea. I am trying hard to concentrate on first making the hospital appointment, then focus on travelling for 2 hours down the motorway when I can only currently manage 30mins. *SWEATS*. I will give it a go, I know it will be horrible but I really would like to see my family as my mum is too poorly to travel. SO. I will keep you updated!