Ahhh a catch up is needed! Theres also a few things I want to mention and get out there so I will do a quick recap of the last couple of weeks first and I will update you on my sister etc.
The house got a little autumnal/halloween update. Ambre is one of my favourite candles for this time of year, only beaten by The White Company Winter candle. But I’ve not purchased this years yet, I also got sent these amazing light up pumpkins from Lights4Fun, they are battery operated and on a timer so at 4pm every day they come on and each day I forget then wonder when I turned the pumpkins on…
I have written about it before but I do love this time of year, I love the colours, the smells and the chill in the air. As a sweaty anxious person I can’t tell you how much of a struggle this hot weather was. Whilst I love laying out and reading or book, or sat in a beer garden, if I had to do anything that usually causes me anxiety I was a hot sweaty mess before I had even left the house and I find hot air quite stifling. I was constantly telling Michael I felt like I couldn’t breath. Well, its much better now. Cold weather = happy Phoebe. Do any of you feel like that too?
I was spoilt with actual gin and puppies after my last post, I found some more sparkling peach drink on my doorstep so I didn’t have to face the complexities of Tesco for a little while, which made me cry.
I have been distracting myself these past couple of weeks by getting back in to cooking and baking, much to Michaels happiness and the sadness of our waistlines.
If you ever see anything and want the recipe blogging up then just let me know, at the moment they are all written down in a notebook which I keep next to the aga. Everything I cook is gluten and dairy free but where applicable I do give Michael a gluten or dairy version. The roast then chicken soup the next day was really good, as was the crumble. I am getting to grips with the aga, its such a a different way of cooking but I was so happy when a girl saw me struggling and happened to work for Thermapen and offered to send me one…forget your gifted White Company stuff, this girl is over the moon with a meat thermometer. I chose the pink one…
I got to enjoy the terrace again as we had a little bit of an Indian summer, 21C was bizarre whilst looking at all the autumnal leaves but most welcome. I managed to get out every day for a dog walk (something v important when agoraphobic, have to force yourself out every day even for 5 mins)
I naturally have watched a lot of TV. Some favourites have been; finishing Desperate Housewives, The Cry, American Horror Story, Great British Model Railway, Autumnwatch, New Lives in the Wild, The Bake Off, Apprentice, Strictly Come Dancing, George Shelley Docu on Grief (bbc), Forever (amazon) , and the best thing I have watched in a very long time has been The Haunting of Hill House. Just amazing. (netflix)
I also think I am the only person in the UK watching Big Brother, but this has been a great season, they went back to just normal people (not semi famous fame hungry weirdos) and its been good tv! Plus, its the last one ever!
Nothing new to report interior wise, bathroom designs are coming together but we need essential maintenance done first…the roof and brickwork mainly. Which is boring but I have made the most of what we already have and made the house prettier.
Anxiety and grief I have felt much better this past week after Lil had her oncology consultation, she has been staged at 1b and it looks like an operation will be curative and there won’t be any need for chemotherapy so that is amazing news. We are waiting for her to talk to a fertility Dr then we get a date for surgery, hoping soon so she can be on the mend for Christmas. So as far as cancer goes, its pretty good news.
I bought a new dress from M&S, it’s this one, I would definitely suggest sizing down from your usual unless you have a large bust.
How are you doing? Are you enjoying the change of season? I feel some people love it or hate it. The darker colder nights and mornings are pretty rubbish if you have to be up early and end up coming home in the dark (clocks go back on the 28th btw).
I have had some interest in the house being used for a location shoot, which is exciting! Will keep you updated on insta about it. The brand are coming to scout it next week I think. I’ve got no major plans for the next little while. My therapist (therapy is going ok btw) thinks we should just play things by ear and not put too much pressure on venturing out/socialising until my day to day anxiety settles a bit more. I am still having little panics when we are out, such as in Tesco but I went to the hospital last week and was relatively OK. It was to start the process of being genetically tested for certain cancers. It was quite a depressing meeting discussing everyone who has died in your family, and how they shuffled off this mortal coil but hopefully if I get tested then we are a bit clearer for my generation of the family. Dads side seem relatively OK, more on mums side. It may be worth mentioning with your GP if you have a few family links to cancer, they will be able to tell you if they are often genetic and whether it is worth pursuing.
So as you can see I haven’t been up to much, I have been in preservation mode which I think is essential sometimes. I am now properly back to working (SYGM and this one) so hopefully there will be some top notch content coming your way soon. I hope you are well, thank you so much for all your support on the last post and the constant messages on insta, I love reading them and I do do my best to reply!
Speak on Sunday!