Phoebe Miller2 Comments

The Weekend Edit #55

Phoebe Miller2 Comments
The Weekend Edit #55

It has been a while, shall we have a little catch up? I am sure we are all update to date because of instagram and my need to over share on stories but I would like to go in to more detail about a few things and that is why I love the Weekend Edits.

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Ok so, how am I? Pffft. I have NO idea. I am up and down more times than Labour backbenchers whilst discussing Brexit. I’m having good and bad days just as much as I am having good and bad hours but what I have noticed is that the overwhelming sadness is a lot less. My level of optimism is a smidgeon more and I have felt "‘myself’ a few times so far this year.

My therapy is going well and we are now at the CBT portion of it, which is where I have hit somewhat of a mental block, it is all about starting exposure therapy again and so far I am struggling to meet stage one on my ladder (term used to rank exposure, you move up the ladder to your goal). I have done it before, and I know I will be able to do it again but it’s harder this time and its because of my lack of oomph and optimism. I’m trying to find it, I will let you know when I do.

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I have been good though! I have been having people over more, saying yes to things more and being a little bit less of a hermit but I do still feel I am in self preservation mode, and I think I will be for the next few months. We have my birthday coming up on the 23rd which marks several things for me. It was the day last year that mum had her stroke in which they realised the cancer had spread to her brain, they all kindly let me have my birthday and dad called a few days later which obviously put in motion the next few weeks. She died on Mother’s Day which obvs is going to come after my birthday, and the actual day of her death which is the 11th March. Sadly this year they are a couple of weeks apart (Mothering Sunday is the 31st March) so that is gonna be oneee longgg month. I can’t believe it will have been a year, I can’t believe it has been that long since I last spoke to her and that it will only ever get longer.

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Whilst I have been rolling from bed to sofa being all melancholy and shit (have you seen that Jake Gyllenhaal clip?) I have also been busy with work! I let things slip just before Christmas so I am catching up with everyone. On the whole people have been understanding and I should be ahead of schedule come the end of this week which means I can focus on Simply Weekends blog posts again because I have a huge list of topics I would like to write about. So You’re Getting Married and the Simply Weekend insta have to be my priorities because they are what make me money but I love love love writing these blog posts and I do always get itchy when I haven’t written in a while.

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On top of work and wallowing I have been doing the house! You will probably have seen by now but the dining room got a make over last week and I love it SO much. I still have bits and bobs to buy but it is mostly done. I will list where everything is from in another blog post. We also got a leak from the bathroom through the kitchen lights so the bathroom reno has been bumped up to top priority. I will also do a blog post like the bedroom and office posts on it.

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Another thing January occupied was my instagram, I set out to post every day in January after reading so many posts about consistent content being the key to growth on insta, well I am calling BULLLSHIT. I posted every day, mainly at peak time (5-8pm) and I would say my content was good and my growth was roughly the same as it was in December. My account still grew but only (I believe) from other accounts sharing mine mainly because I got an amazing shout out by Elle (@feathering the empty nest) and gained 1.2k over night. You could argue that you may get shared more if you have more content out there for people to see and interact with but the effort involved of posting every day does not general natural organic growth from instagram alone.

Dec 1 - 31st - 17682 - 19258 = 1576

Jan - 1 - 31st - 19047 - 22002 = 2955

Basically, never feel bad about how much you post and when you are on instagram make sure you are interacting with and sharing accounts you love. My pal @vickiejoneshome gained 2.2k in the last 4 weeks and posted about 5 times. So there you go. Some insta research you may have wondered about but I have done for you! Did you see me more in your feeds? Was it perhaps it was just shitter content? Who knows.

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So aside from that I have been watching all the TV and films (obvs). Just finished Russian Doll which I enjoyed a lot. The Good Place meets Groundhog Day. Grace & Frankie, The Ted Bundy Tapes, Fyre, Abducted in Plain Sight, Love, Simon oh and my favourite at the mo is Winterwatch. I’ve started on Buffy and Bones. And I finally watched The Crimes of Grindelwald. It was alright, but a major filler film in my opinion.

Plans for the week are to massively tidy the house because we have a cleaner starting on Wednesday. I’ve got therapy on Monday morning and I have 2 blog posts I want to get up on here. On top of getting pretty weddings blogged up for work oh and I will also have my CBT homework, so all in all it should be a good week but I have learnt that my anxiety and grief could have other ideas so I take everything a day at a time. Slightly annoying for my friends when they want to make plans but a lot have come to accept I may text on a whim to meet up or the opposite, which has been really great.

Let me know how you are! Are there any blog posts you’d like written up in particular?

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