Welcome to another week. I hope your Monday has been ok so far? I’m writing this up and watching the Thai Cave rescue docu on Netflix. The boys and rescue team were so brave, worth a watch and its only 52 minutes long.
Monday - I try and use my Monday to catch up on emails which I probably haven’t answered as the week has gone on. It was quite productive but by about 3pm I flagged and decided to call it quits for the day. I caught up on Love Island, watched some crappy amazon horror films and tried for an early night. I am still experiencing the side effects of my medication in broken sleep and the inability to fall and stay asleep.
Tuesday - back with my new obsession, the garden. I moved a climbing rose to the front wall as it wasn’t doing too well in the back. I pottered, dead headed, planned what I want to buy next. The usual. I have also started writing out the next few blog posts for here, they include; starting anti depressants, skin care, bbq food ideas, bathroom plans and what to say when someone tells you something shit (working title).
Wednesday - I woke up to a normal day. I didn’t plan on it being an awesome day. I didn’t plan on doing any exposure therapy, but as I got up, washed and dressed I realised that my anxiety was relatively low. Like almost non existent. I’ve learnt that these are the bet days to ruin and push myself with something out of my comfort zone. So off I went. Where was I going? What incredible feat was I achieving? Well, I was going to my local pub. I know. In truth I have kind of glued to Michael since my mum died and I hadn’t really been anywhere on my own. Since moving the pub and local shops are further away and on days when I am doing bad with my anxiety, going to the pub was bottom of the list but I had been doing so well with my walking I thought ‘sod it’. So I walked, I got a magazine, went to the pub and had a gin on my own then walked home. It felt so good to claw a tiny bit of my old life back and not be totally anxious.
After this, I got home. Picked up the dog and took him on a longer dog walk too. It was amazing. I felt so calm and much more like myself. I really felt the new meds working. Plus the dog appreciated going further!
Thursday - that morning I had therapy and told her all about my triumph ( I actually saw her on the way to the pub and she wished me luck). She was also pleased with how I was doing that we are now only going to have therapy every 2 weeks. This is definitely progress hey?
Friday - cleaning day ahead of the weekend. Miley Cyrus blasting round the house and Method everywhere.
Saturday - a really chill day, we watched films, I binged true crime podcasts (mainly True Crime All the Time Unsolved). Do you like an unsolved crime or do you prefer an ending? There have been some amazing unsolved cases that have really stuck in my head. My favourite is the story of The Somerton Man. Casefile covered this amazingly, please find and listen (or can listen here) then let me know what you think. It’s described as one of Australias most profound cases, and a lot like Madeline McCann, I have this itch to know what happened that I genuinely think about it a lot.
Sunday - ahhh another amazing day! I didn’t really share on insta because a) i was having too good a time hosting but b) kids around. I have been getting in to cricket over the past few weeks and for England to get in to the final was amazing. Michael invited one of his friends and family over, I saw my neighbours over the back wall so invited them too, we BBQd (was funny because I needed to take photos for an ad with thermapen and they were having a chuckle), we sat on the terrace and then we all gathered in the living room to watch such an intense final! I felt so happy and calm that I went to bed a very happy girl.
So I need to take the momentum and start pushing to get back my travel zone again, I think a trip in to the city, some gardens, restaurants would be good but I am really happy with the progress I am making lately. I took such an immense step backwards last year that going to the pub seemed like a marathon during that time. To have gone there alone this week was a massive tick, and such a boost.
Anyway, I shall leave you to watch Love Island. Right?