Hello! Flicking back through my camera roll and I’m like, “jeez Phoebs you’ve not done much how you even gonna turn this in to a blog post?” I feel this is one of my strengths, something I would add to a CV, something that helped me sail through my dissertation. The ability to extrapolate minimum content in to maximum impact. You are in for a treat.
Monday - I wrote up my first weekend edit in 4 months, for the first time I was actually a bit nervous about it. I thought maybe people wouldn’t be bothered anymore or new followers would be “why is this even a blog post babe?” I feel you, but after I pressed publish and some comments came in and breathed a massive sigh of relief. People still get me. You get what I am on insta for and what I blog for. Of course, I am not breaking ground, I am not showing you how to live your best life, I am merely showing you mine in the hopes that its mundanity sometimes breaks through the shininess of instagram/social media.
These are the best lollies by the way. They’re currently reduced in Tesco. Watermelon and apple flavour, so delicious and no gluten or dairy and I think about 61 cals for those of you that count. I worked for a little while (mainly sifting through emails and reading wedding submissions) then decided it was too lovely a day not to be outside.
Tuesday it was time to do some more exposure therapy. As I wrote before I am looking to expand my walking circle and be comfortable in that zone ahead of Ed Sheeran next month. I was feeling well so I took a wander back down to the lake, found no lost dogs but had a successful walk. Getting further and closer to my target, it helped that it was lovely and sunny. Came home, had rosé on the terrace. Not getting as much use out of it as last year but when its sunny up there, there is no place I’d rather be.
Wednesday - days when you decide to bbq are the best. It was just the two of us, we had burgers and hot dogs followed by smores. The mallows were a little too big but delicious.
I’ve really been off my food so it was quite nice to enjoy a full meal, I am usually living off rice and chicken so if I do have a craving for something Michael is very good at seeing to my every whim and picking up bits to cook. M&S posh dogs are the best btw.
Atticus has been back to the vets and got the full all clear re his lump. The vet was quite honest and said she hadn’t got a clue what it was. It responded to antibiotics, wasn’t found to be cancerous so we are just chalking it up to a bit of a blip. He seemed completely fine the entire time and that was reassuring.
Thursday - you may also have been gripped by #agapanthuswatch. I ordered a tiny plant from Crocus (along with others in an order) and it didn’t arrive on time because they didn’t feel the standard was good enough, so I waited another 3 weeks then it finally arrived. I have been nurturing it every since, I daren’t replant it till after it flowers, I’ve not moved it either. I had seen other people with loads of buds and I had nothing, for 2 weeks! finally a little bud was nestled in the foliage and now I have 6 and they’re starting to open. I have always loved agapanthus and this is my first year faffing with the garden and growing what I want.
I get most of my plants online from Crocus or Gardening Express (always amazing deals on). Both have been great and the plants have always been a great quality, when a peony arrived damaged Crocus were super quick to send another. I also like plant swaps (fuschia, astrantia, dianthus and scabiosa above), the local garden centres and David Austin/Sarah Raven for specifics. I have a “want list” of things to buy, I don’t know if you want me to share anything to do with gardening? I am definitely a novice but willing to try!
Friday and Saturday - moot days. Anxiety and sadness kicked in. It happens, grieving is exhausting and hard, it’s something you don’t realise until you go through it “how can being sad make you so unwell/exhausted etc?” A very good question. I’ve learnt just to accept it and my body recovers quicker that way. We watched Stranger Things 3 (amazing btw), started True Detective 3 and I ate toast.
Sunday - a day full of chores. Picked up this Method to try, the smell is delicious and it cleans up stone to shiny goodness so I highly recommend if you haven’t tried already.
All the laundry was done, hoovering, changing sheets, gardening, the whole works. I felt anxious on Sunday night because Michael was going back to work and I had been enjoying the happy 2 week holiday bubble we’d been in for the past little while. I didn’t sleep well at all ( I think the misplaced nap may have had something to do with it), in fact I got out of bed at about 4am and went down the kitchen for a blueberry muffin because I was so hungry, think I finally fell asleep around 5ish.
House wise there aren’t many updates, we are still debating whether or not to move to Stamford so I guess we are putting off doing the bathroom and bits and bobs if we aren’t going to stay here. I am also putting most of my spare time, energy and pennies in to the garden at the moment as I really enjoy it and it’s had such a positive impact on my mental health. So yes, another positive week for me. My good days are definitely outweighing the bad, a few months ago I really couldn’t see that happening. The medication and time really have helped. Here’s to a new week!